Hi all,
I have had a bit of a tough time a week after my last chemo. Still experiencing some GI tract issues mostly because I am really not very good at babying myself. I am so done with this chemo... I just want to move on! I am used to the bald part... I have made friends with my hats, scarf and wig. People who haven't seen me in a while think I just changed my hairstyle... it's kinda funny.
But the lack of energy and tiredness part I do not want to get used to. I went out with Randy, who must have the patience of a saint, on a 20 mile road ride yesterday. In the old days, 20 miles is considered the length you do if you are totally pressed for time or you are practically sprinting the ride because you want to ride hard. I rode like a turtle and was so incredibly slow on the hills.
I think my muscles have shrunk and just been replaced by fat since I have not lost any weight. Yeah, yeah, yeah... it will pass, you will be back to normal soon, you look fine... I know all this but it doesn't make me feel much better.
My fingernails are still tender but nothing too painful. I am still having a hard time with my sore back though. It is taking forever to get better. I mean, I am A LOT better off than i was last weekend but sheesh! Hurry it up already! I've got things to do! I need to get the condo ready for Doug's return!
Speaking of Dougie... he flew from Kosovo to Germany on Friday and then to Fort Lewis, Washington on Saturday. Doug is officially back in America! I haven't heard from him yet but I'm sure I will soon. He'll be back in the OC in 9-11 days after his post deployment debriefing stuff is done at Fort Lewis. I am so looking forward to having him back here.
What's up next for me?
Genetic testing on Monday morning with results in two weeks, Breast MRI (to see the results of the chemo on my tumor) on Nov 17 and then surgery is scheduled for Dec 8. You know... part of me still cannot believe I have cancer. It's like it's happened to someone else and I'm just having to go through all this crappy stuff for some reason... Well, I guess the surgery will make it him home for me.
But yes... just a hurdle and one year from now, I will look back in amazement at what I went though... Can't wait! And I'll have my own hair by then too :-)
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Re the back thing, I don't think that's cancer related. It once took me 1.5 years to get better from a back injury. The only thing that I found works is total immobility on the couch, preferably while watching T.V. and eating Halloween candy.
ReplyDeleteIt will be nice to have Doug back.
I think a lot of women our age, especially those who are athletic, energetic, and generally do things well, have a hard time babying themselves, so I understand what you're saying. Hang in there...
ReplyDeleteI'm thrilled for you that Doug is back in the US. Don't worry about the condo...he'll be happiest to see YOU.
-j
I sm putting on my social work hat now okay??? My gosh cut yourself some slack!!!!! Give your body the chance it needs to heal and rest. I promise you will get back to your 50 K rides when all this is behind you and IT WILL BE. PLEASE be a GOOD patient and take care of yourself. I love you and my thoughts are always with you. I will send you my bill in the mail!!!
ReplyDeleteyour cuz,
Maxine
Hi Maureen,
ReplyDeleteLong time no talk. Our thoughts are prayers are with you. You are one tough cookie and if anyone can beat this, it is you. Take care. Thanks for sharing your blog.
Jim Sanft
Just a note of encouragement. You've spent a lot of time becoming "who you are", and it sure seems like you're a work of art, girl! Don't rush or wish for the "fastest" recovery for anything... as sucky as it all is, you sell yourself short. Wish for the best way to be most whole, and you will find it. You deserve nothing less.
ReplyDeleteOnce the decisions are made, and your gut/heart/head all buy in, the rest gets easier. Honestly.
xo
Kelly, Amy's bud from NY
Hi Mo:
ReplyDeleteSo excited for you that Doug's coming back. He won't even notice the condo... I like the comment about wishing for the best way to be most whole. There is a whole other part of you that's been on hold that you can now re-open with Doug's return. Relish it!
Thinking of you, and sending on the positive, Canuck, whole love...