Recovering at home

Hi all,

Well, it's been a bit of an ordeal since I last posted but I'm doing OK now. I actually had no idea that I would be in so much pain after the surgery. I guess that my denial technique caught up on me a bit... Let me recap the last few days for those of you not in touch with me.

Tuesday - 10am - After I got settled into a private room to wait, I went to get an injection in my breast with some radioactive stuff to identify where the sentinel lymph node was located. It is the primary lymph node to which cancer cells usually spread from the main tumor. After this was done, we sat around in a room waiting to be rolled down to surgery. The surgery was 2 hrs delayed so we killed time with daytime TV which I have gotten to know very well by now.

After they rolled me down to the pre-op area, which is really weird because you are there with a ton of people all about to get surgery. The guy beside me was getting shaved for his gall bladder surgery! Yes, they had curtains but you can hear everything. My 6'9" giant of an anesthesiologist came in and setup my IV and after injecting the relaxing drug... I don't remember anything until I was moved from the gurney to my bed.

The days in the hospital were uneventful except I had pain and a fever on the day I was supposed to be sprung so they kept me in an extra night. Thank goodness because I was in no condition to leave. I was not prepared for the pain... cripes but it is better now. The food was really quite good, I have no complaints, I was really quite comfortable. The nurses were telling us that they were being pressured to release patients. Maybe it was the rainstorms we were having and the increase in accidents... What fascinates me is that the entire time I was in the hospital, I was barely even looked after by doctors. Nurses and their assistants did everything. I mean, my plastic surgeon only saw me once and released me for the next day without even seeing me. My breast surgeon on the other hand visited me a few times, which I greatly appreciated.

My pain is manageable even though my nurse warned me that I opted for the least powerful pain meds (Darvocet). I didn't want to feel too weird and out of control of my brain and body. Things are going ok. We have to empty my drains (i have three drains) twice a day and they forgot to give us something to measure the fluids with so last night we had to use a standard baking measuring cup. It was a tad bit too large but we made our best guesses at the volume.

Dr Snyder (my breast surgeon) called this morning with the results of my lymph node and tumor pathology. He said that my margins were clear which was a concern with the skin-sparing mastectomy. He also said that the from the breast tissue removed, there was an 1.3 cm island of cancer cells left from the 3 cm tumor originally in the breast. Also, from the 9 lymph nodes removed, there were little islands of cancer cells in 4 lymph nodes with the biggest spot being 3 mm. He said that this showed a dramatic response to chemotherapy and that I was on the way to being cured.

Unfortunately, I was not prepared for this news at all. I was told that if 3 or more lymph nodes had cancer, I would need radiation. The oncologist will decide what happens next but this has hit me really hard. I cried more today than I cried since I have been diagnosed. I guess I felt that after chemo and surgery, the cancer would be gone and I would be able to move on with my life. Now with radiation looming after what I've been through, I'm going to need a whole new mindset to get through this...

Doug is doing a great job of being my nurse but will gladly accept help if anyone wants to offer a visit or a meal.

Thanks to you all for your notes of support on my blog, Facebook, through email and by calls. They made a difference in the hospital and at home.

Mo